hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
