How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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