HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
