i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
