Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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