i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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