i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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