woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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