I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
