Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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