Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
