How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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