Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
