Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
