I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You ruined the universe
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
