hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
