Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
our cab driver is having phone sex.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
