so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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