I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
