Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
