I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
