dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
