glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
