If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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