So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
my liver is dry heaving
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
