Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
