we're blogging at a bar
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
