My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
