i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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