he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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