She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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