I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
