these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
