I look better un-naked...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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