girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
