he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
