I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
