and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
