i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
