Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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