in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
