whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
