is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
