i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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