Do vagina's smell?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
