We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
