so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
