College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
COCAINE IS GR8
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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