Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
