I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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