I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
